Maledicte

So, for the first time in my life someone I know has died. Or at least, someone I knew and was relatively close to. My grandmother's best friend, and like an aunt to me, passed away in her sleep the night before last. She had cancer, and the last year or so has been pretty bad, and everyone is a little relieved that it was an easy death with no trauma and not too much pain.

But I have to wonder why I'm not emotional about this.

Sure, I'm going to miss her. I loved her. She was great. But I'm not feeling a great sense of loss or anything. I'm not close to tears. Nothing. I heard the news last night, I accepted it. Done.

Which leads me to wonder about my emotional state. Sure, I tell people all the time that I'm heartless. And for intents and purposes, it's true. Being "heartless" and unfeeling is just a way not to feel any pain. I know, everyone is thinking, "But then you don't feel the happiness too," and you're all wrong. I get sad, sure. I just don't feel emotional pain, I think. Which has been, in the past, not an issue. Like the fact that I have a hard time trusting people fully. ( Which isn't to say there aren't people I trust. Hell, there are a whole lot of people I would trust with my life. ) But I don't fee anything over her death. She's just gone. There's nothing I can do.

Well, whatever. I'm sure that was supposed to help me figure something out.

Here are some pictures of Sky from Alpha and Confluence.

( Pics! )

Yes, I'm here at Confluence. We stayed up until 4 last night. And at around 2:30 we went out for an Adventure! Which meant we went in search of a place that was open 24 hours for food. Which was amazingly fun. ( Diane's son, Steven, had a car. Also, soooooo good looking. Anyway. Driving with him is like driving with Paul. Lots of fun. XD ) So we didn't end up waking up until 1:30 pm today. Which meant that we missed a bunch of good things. ( I would like to take a moment to commend this hotel on it's curtains. They kept the whole room dark dark, so I didn't realize how late it was until I looked up at the clock. )

Again with the CRS now. Which is so not cool. But I am a chronic sufferer.

Bunch of people from last year's Alpha showed up to the con too, which is always fun.

Ooooh, I shall have to make sure that people get picturelyness. ( Not a word from all you. )