Maledicte

Found more pictures of me. These ones courtesy of Lara. :D

( Pics! )

So, for the first time in my life someone I know has died. Or at least, someone I knew and was relatively close to. My grandmother's best friend, and like an aunt to me, passed away in her sleep the night before last. She had cancer, and the last year or so has been pretty bad, and everyone is a little relieved that it was an easy death with no trauma and not too much pain.

But I have to wonder why I'm not emotional about this.

Sure, I'm going to miss her. I loved her. She was great. But I'm not feeling a great sense of loss or anything. I'm not close to tears. Nothing. I heard the news last night, I accepted it. Done.

Which leads me to wonder about my emotional state. Sure, I tell people all the time that I'm heartless. And for intents and purposes, it's true. Being "heartless" and unfeeling is just a way not to feel any pain. I know, everyone is thinking, "But then you don't feel the happiness too," and you're all wrong. I get sad, sure. I just don't feel emotional pain, I think. Which has been, in the past, not an issue. Like the fact that I have a hard time trusting people fully. ( Which isn't to say there aren't people I trust. Hell, there are a whole lot of people I would trust with my life. ) But I don't fee anything over her death. She's just gone. There's nothing I can do.

Well, whatever. I'm sure that was supposed to help me figure something out.

Here are some pictures of Sky from Alpha and Confluence.

( Pics! )

We're leaving for Confluence pretty soon. WHich means this is my last post until either I get home, or I get onto the supposed free wireless at the hotle. Either one.

I shall be cosplaying, as you all know, and I will take pics for all of you curious people. I wish I had remembered to bring my digital camera. But no, Sky is a forgetful creture, and she didn't remember. And her father wouldn't buy her a disposable one when she asked. Woe is Sky.

Er... I totally had something else to say in this post here. But now I don't remember what it was. >.< Mother fucker.

...

*snickers*

Anyway. Er... Can't remember. Oh well. See you all on the flip side!

Mwaha. I actually got sleep last night. THis is a good thing. Why? Because I will not sleep for more than three hours for the next two weeks. So I have some sleep stored up, Score.

Note: About the computer issue, thanks for helping me out guys, or... y'know... offering... I still have yet to figure anything out. As usual. -_-;;

I miss my iPod. *sniffles* But my parents are considering getting me a new one, and you know what my dad said as he handed me $100 for Alpha/Confluence? "You know what you should see here? One third of an iPod." My response: "...gee. Thanks."