cerulean_sky | Entries tagged with valentine's day

• Happy Valentine's Day, all! I hope you are all having a good day, regardless of your relationship status.

• I am a hell of a lot more chipper this year than I was last year (or the year before), the cause of which should be obvious. Though, really, today was just a normal Tuesday for me. The Boyfriend and I celebrated our Valentine's Day this past Saturday with a nice romantic dinner date and then coming home to pomegranate wine and chocolate covered strawberries made by yours truly. :) It was lovely.

• Having just gotten my butt in gear, the sign ups for

fantasybigbang will go live tomorrow. This year there's also a DW mirrow comm:

fantasybigbang. We're going to see how it works, mostly.

lady_mab thinks it will work (and might get us more participants), so we'll see. Fingers crossed.

• Speaking of getting my ass in gear, I'm finally doing things. I'm going to try to get my car fixed before my Spring Break (second week of March), I'm going to be applying for internships soon so I sent an email to the head of my program asking for a meeting to Talk About Things, and I emailed my advisor for my Independent Study (finally) about actually starting. Halle-fucking-luja.

• This last one means that I will also (finally) be finishing a goddamned story. The first one I'm working on is a story based on a song by the Oysterband called "No Reason to Cry" (which is also what I'm currently calling the story, because it doesn't have a proper title). I ought to be finally writing a bunch of short stories that I've had sort of sitting around—some of them are fully outlined!—but haven't actually written. I'm sort of excited for that aspect of this experiment.

• Other than that, school is still school. I'm close enough to being done that I'm just putting my head down and ignoring things that drive me crazy. (Or at least, I am just ranting about them to the Boyfriend and my mom and my paper journal so that I can get it off my chest.) Anyway. School is happening. That's about all there is to it.

That's also all there is to this entry. Time to finish my sammich (and beer) and finish my work for tomorrow.

Current Mood: full
Current Music: "Blinding" - Florence + the Machine
Crossposts: http://cerulean-sky.livejournal.com/395489.html

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. The second I would have celebrated with my boyfriend (now ex), and I've been somewhat apprehensive about it for a week now.

This isn't a place I feel wholly comfortable writing about intensely personal things, but suffice to say that though our split seemed amicable and mutual, upon examination it was amicable and entirely not mutual. (No, I'm still not ok, yes, I am better than I was.)

Under normal circumstances, I don't much like Valentine's Day. Single, it always seemed like a day that that fact was rubbed into my face. In a relationship, it seemed like a day of forced affection—forced in that it was expected but not entirely of the other's desire to be affectionate right at that very moment. It's an awkward day for anyone who was ever even remotely an outsider in their elementary-through-highschool days. It's not a day I look forward to in general, no matter my current state of pairedness. (That all being said, last Valentine's Day was one of the best I ever had, and it's somewhat painful to remember that.)

Catherynne Valente (

yuki_onna) wrote up a wonderful defense of Valentine's Day. Reading it is everything I ever wanted someone to say to me when I said that I hated Valentine's Day. It made me feel better about the impending day of reminders. And while I don't expect that tomorrow is going to be a wholly pleasant day for me, I expect to get through it a little better than I would have for not reading that.

"This world is a beautiful place, but it is also often dark, and cold, and unfeeling, and life slips by, not because it is short, but because it is so difficult to hold onto. Holidays, rituals, these things demarcate the time. They remind us of the sharpness of pleasure and the nearness of death. They tell us when the sun leaves, and when it comes back. They tell us to dance and they tell us to sleep. They tell us who we are, who we have been since we lived on the savannah and hoped to taste cheetah before we died. I know we're all punk rock rebels, but the paleolithic joy of fucking in the fields and dancing around a fire doesn't go away just because certain of us would like to think we're beyond that. This world needs more holidays, not less. More ritual, the gorgeous, flexible, non-dogmatic kind that isn't about religion but about ecstasy in the sheer humanness of our bodies and souls. More chances to reach out, to sing, to love, to bedeck ourselves in ritual colors and become splendid as the year turns around.

And no, I'm sorry. It doesn't work to say "make every day special." First of all, most of you know damn well that you don't shower your partner with gifts and adoration and that most precious of things: dedicated, mindful time every day of the year. Even the best relationship is not a 24/7 orgiastic festival of plenty and perfect moments. No human can sustain it. If every day is special, none of them are. If every day is special, specialness becomes monotony. What makes days special is the time between, the anticipation of a the day, the planning, the surprises, coming together, cooking, playing, reveling in sheer time, watching the dedicated colors and rituals that wire our brain for pleasure spring up in the world to remind us that we live in it. The entire purpose of holidays is that they are a kind of otherworld we step into, full of special symbols, that informs and shapes everyday life--and some of life, no matter how some bloggers would like to deny it in their Grinchitude, is always everyday."

I have no idea how I will be "celebrating" this holiday, if at all. But I might not spend it crying, and I feel good about that—and stronger too.

(Yes, I'm better. Recovered? Not by a long shot. Dealing with this and my life as affected by it has quite possibly been the hardest thing I have ever done.)

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Boss keeps changing it...

Happy Valentine's Day, flist. I hope your day is filled with love.

♥ ♥ ♥

Current Mood: loved

It occurs to me, as I'm thinking about it right now, that I spend a lot of time dressing up and then not taking pictures.

I attended a V-Day event tonight with the ever lovely

inamirata as my guest. This is an event for which I actually spent time looking for a dress and ended up buying a really, really nice red dress. I looked amazing (if I do say so myself) and yet... there are no pictures.

I ought to corral a friend of mine, find a location, grab some nice outfits and go do a photoshoot. (I used to get my mother to do this. Alas, she and her really nice camera are no longer at my beck and call!)

Anyway. Happy Valentine's Day to all.

Current Mood: awake

Happy V-Day, to my flist.

Yes, I am wearing all black. I don't much like this holiday. I don't believe in it. And it never has anything to do with being single. I had a boyfriend last V-Day and I still didn't like it.

( It is cold and snowy. )

I kind of would like my best friend back.

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
						1
2	3	4	5	6	7	8
9	10	11	12	13	14	15
16	17	18	19	20	21	22
23	24	25	26	27	28	29
30

Maledicte

Entries tagged with valentine's day

In which Sky is markedly happier this year than last.

In which Sky contemplates Valentine's Day.

In which Sky can celebrate Valentine's Day happily for the first time.

In which Sky has no pictures of the sexy red dress.

In which Sky wishes her flist a Happy V-Day.

Profile

a rose named sky

Links

April 2017