The Best Bad Pick-Up Line EVAR!

[cerulean_sky]

Talking about bad pick-up lines... I'm hyper... and yes. Do not mix the two, or you get posts like this. >.>;;

"Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house.You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going."

Comments

[ravenpirate.livejournal.com]

*snickers* If a guy ever said that to me, I'd stare at him, or hit him, or just walk away. Or maybe I'd stare at him, THEN hit him, and THEN walk away. There we go.

[cerulean-sky.livejournal.com]

*snickers* You so would. I'd just stare. And then be like, "What the fuck are you on?"

[darsabre.livejournal.com]

quixotic means irrationally caught up in a the ideals of chivalry ( or some other such code), or caught up in questing, and has an implication of unfeasability and lack of interest in the practical.

[lskull86.livejournal.com]

you beat me to it :-P

[cerulean-sky.livejournal.com]

Shh, don't tell anyone... >.>

[tcideneb.livejournal.com]

Comes from 'Quixote', so it really should be pronounced key-hoe-tick. But it's pronounced quick-sot-tick.

::shrug::

-B.

[cerulean-sky.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, wow. I know what it's from. *facepalm* Should have seen that. Silly me.

[cerulean-sky.livejournal.com]

*snickers* I just liked the word. XD

[darsabre.livejournal.com]

but dont you like it more now that you know what it means/that it applies to so many people you know

[http://users.livejournal.com/somethingelse__/]

Oh my God. That just made my miserable Valentine's day.. almost bearable.

That's fantastic.

XD

Thanks.

[cerulean-sky.livejournal.com]

No problem! :D

[lskull86.livejournal.com]

I almost wish I were single so I could use this line somewhere and see what happens :-P

[cerulean-sky.livejournal.com]

You'd get stared at and then smacked, probably.

[arysani.livejournal.com]

the thing about really bad pickup lines is that should someone actually get up the guts to use one in a real situation, then i just gotta give 'em credit, and generally i'd give in, just because i'm in awe of their ability to make total asses of themselves.

but that one is HILARIOUS. i love it.

[luckfire.livejournal.com]

Totally true. If somebody tried that line on me, I'd have to give him a hug. No sexual favors, because it's still atrocious -- but a hug for having the balls to try it. And maybe a cookie for extra positive reinforcement.

[oceanocielo.livejournal.com]

Rofl!

[elfypiratequeen.livejournal.com]

Hee! That's a lovely thing! I might want to use that at some point if I could get the whole thing out before someone walked away. In fact, if someone said that to me, I'd probably give 'em a change. Just cuz it's that awesome.